You know, in this time of giving and sharing, most people forget that one 
special gift that makes the season really memorable.  That's right, I'm 
talking about the Christmas Cold.  There's nothing quite like the entire 
family sitting around the tree in swaddling clothes, sipping hot chocolate 
and blowing thick snot into handkerchiefs to give you a feeling of holiday 
togetherness.  

And if you plan it just right, you'll start sniffling just a few days before 
the holy event so that all through the celebration everyone will have the 
complete set of brain vises, nose-faucets, and red-hot throats that signify 
a real hum-dinger of a cold.  Who knows, you may even be able to give it to 
your relatives during Christmas Dinner, so they can enjoy a touch of the 
season for New Year's Day!

The disease may last only a short while, but the memories of "that one 
Christmas when Brent brought the neighbor kid's cold home and we all felt 
like shit" will be with us forever.

Merry Ch (cough) ristmas!

-Sean