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What the Hell is your Problem, Bitch?

Posted April 21, 1996

What the hell is your problem, bitch?
   What's the matter with you?
You seem to have a bug up your ass,
   Or even possibly two.


Coz
  You
    Are

Contemptibly rude, insufferably trite,
  Impossibly gauche, loaded with spite.
Irascibly crude, most impolite,
  Rabidly vicious, spoiling to fight.


So just tell me

What the hell is your problem, witch?
  Who's been yankin' your chain?
If it's something =I've= said or done,
  Maybe you ought to explain.  

   
Coz
  You
    Are

Venomous.
  Vain.

Treacherous.
  Insane.

Bilious.
  Riled.

Tenacious.
  Vile.
  

Now look, dammit.
  Tell Me

What the hell is your problem, crone?
  It's time to put it to bed.
I've had it to here with your attitude,
  Something is loose in your head.


Coz
  You
    Are

And this is just my opinion, of course:
One of the nastiest little examples
Of creep I've ever had the misfortune
Of sharing a planet with, except for
Maybe my first grade penmanship teacher.
She marked me down for being creative.
Instead of following for the twelfth
Time just exactly what was drawn up there
On the chalk board, I invented an all-
Square cornered font.  Hey, I had already
Proven I could print correctly, but no,
She couldn't deal with the fact that I
Wasn't kowtowing to her authority.
...But I digress.


So for the last time, just tell me

What the hell is your problem, babe?
  Can't you just leave me alone?
If you can't work out your hostility,
  I wish you'd just leave it home.


Coz
  You
    Are        
  
Horribly terribly thoroughly actually
Honestly totally damningly factually
Really quite sure so no I'm not kiddingly
Won't take any more so no I'm not jokingly

Finally truthfully fiendishly ruefully
Absolutely positively adamantly permanantly 
Inescapably unquestionably irrevokably unacceptably
and what's more, your mother dresses you funnily


FUCKED... IN THE....     HEAD!



So shut up already.






Don't go there, girl.










Aw, man.













Shit.



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